The Journey
I kind of shyed away from blogging on here. I've been blogging over on myspace where I could keep my blog private and accessible to only a few friends. Now that we have gone public with our news I feel a little more free to share. I am copying & pasting my latest posts from there concerning this journey we are on. Maybe they will be insightful. You'll have to start from the bottom & go up though.
August 20, 2007 - Monday
Vanity
So, our latest journey back into the Catholic church has got me thinking about a few things. Wondering how often Christians & also wondering if I have ever been guilty of choosing a church because the people there looked young, cool & attractive. Even choosing a church because they have hip music & the pastor can preach. I'm thinking these things might be rather vain. The reason I got to thinking about this is because at the Catholic church on Sundays I have observed that the people aren't necessarily the most attractive. There are a lot of old people. There is one man in particular named Victor who is mentally challenged & will come up to you, talk in a loud voice & repeat himself over & over. Your instincts kick in when you see him & you want to avoid him. Victor though is one of God's children's too & can probably teach us something about ourselves if we will listen.
I have attended many types of churches. Many just seemed more like self-help groups to me. I think what should really be important when choosing a church home is whether we are encountering Christ, which isn't about a feeling. That is one thing I am at confident about. I know I am encountering Jesus through communion & am being led into greater intimacy with him. These things are invaluable! It is through that foundation that you can also have true community.
August 12, 2007 - Sunday
It’s good to be home!
Well, it's official. Tom & are are back in the Catholic church. We met with a priest yesterday from St. Joes. Catholics are often misunderstood by protestants. This priest was definitely plugged in & seemed like a very holy man. There were several things he said, like he was reading my thoughts, that let me know the Holy Spirit was working through him. He also heard my confession which was SOOOO refreshing! There really is grace involved in the sacraments! It feels really good to be back. I just feel like I am being more true to who I really am. Already it is doing wonders for my prayer life. We still look forward to meeting with the folks at Matthew's House but maybe now we will have more to give. It will come from an overflow of what we are receiving. It was also ironic. One reason we left 10 yrs. ago is it didn't seem like there was a place for us. Yesterday while talking to this priest his head was spinning as he was also thinking of all these areas of need & ways we could serve the church. I think he was excited about our background. For now though I am just happy to "be" for a while. I just want to sit & soak. I'm sure eventually I will want to do more though.
July 19, 2007 - Thursday
reflections
I don't think things are always so black and white, especially when trying to figure out God's plan for one's life. I think sometimes he even leads us to do things just so we can see that deep down it is not really what we are desiring to do. An example of this would be a network marketing business I got involved with last year. I've been through a lot of crap with ministry & churches in the past (not our current one :) & was praying that the Lord would just let me live a nice leisurely life. After all I would observe my sister & her husband who were Christians & yet they have a couple of boats & go out on the water just about every week. Kind of got me a little envious. So, this "opportunity of a lifetime" comes up & I jumped on it. After all there were others who were doing very well with it & able to sit back & live a nice life. Well, halfway into it I realize a nice leisurely life isn't really what I was desiring deep down. After searching my heart I realized I have never desired the American dream of a white picket fence & a Pleasantville type neighborhood. Actually I find that all to be quite boring. What is DEEPLY branded on my heart is to be Franciscan (follow Jesus in the way of St. Francis of Assisi). To live simply and humbly,put others above myself, to live in community, etc., etc. This has also got me wondering if I am being true to myself by even being Protestant. There are some very Catholic things that are deeply engraved on my heart that I can't seem to shake. The more I pray the stronger they get. I don't know...I guess we will see where God is leading us next.
June 6, 2007 - Wednesday
Tom's job
Well, things are still up in the air with Tom's job. It looks pretty definite that Florida is getting rid of PIP (no fault). Even if by some miracle they decide to keep it Tom's job is still unstable. They are really overstaffed. Departments that Tom oversees as a manager have also been getting transferred which leaves less & less for him to manage making Tom wonder when they are going to realize they don't need him. Anyway, so far nothing else has come up. It is looking more & more likely that we are going to have to pursue something out of state. It is hard not to be anxious. I have been in quite a funk. I recently repented & have come out of it realizing it was a symptom of my lack of trust and when everything does end up working out I would feel so silly for letting myself get depressed. God has never let us down before & I'm sure he has a plan. I do wish I knew what it was though. I guess this way I can grow more in my faith. Meanwhile there has been a lot of grace to pray & the desire to form a Franciscan monastic community has been growing. I don't know what all this means. If I try to wrap my brain around it all it gets rather confusing. So, I guess I just need to take one day at a time & trust that he will lead us & bring about these desires that I believe he has placed on our hearts. Meanwhile we really could use the prayers of our friends. Thanks.
August 20, 2007 - Monday
Vanity
So, our latest journey back into the Catholic church has got me thinking about a few things. Wondering how often Christians & also wondering if I have ever been guilty of choosing a church because the people there looked young, cool & attractive. Even choosing a church because they have hip music & the pastor can preach. I'm thinking these things might be rather vain. The reason I got to thinking about this is because at the Catholic church on Sundays I have observed that the people aren't necessarily the most attractive. There are a lot of old people. There is one man in particular named Victor who is mentally challenged & will come up to you, talk in a loud voice & repeat himself over & over. Your instincts kick in when you see him & you want to avoid him. Victor though is one of God's children's too & can probably teach us something about ourselves if we will listen.
I have attended many types of churches. Many just seemed more like self-help groups to me. I think what should really be important when choosing a church home is whether we are encountering Christ, which isn't about a feeling. That is one thing I am at confident about. I know I am encountering Jesus through communion & am being led into greater intimacy with him. These things are invaluable! It is through that foundation that you can also have true community.
August 12, 2007 - Sunday
It’s good to be home!
Well, it's official. Tom & are are back in the Catholic church. We met with a priest yesterday from St. Joes. Catholics are often misunderstood by protestants. This priest was definitely plugged in & seemed like a very holy man. There were several things he said, like he was reading my thoughts, that let me know the Holy Spirit was working through him. He also heard my confession which was SOOOO refreshing! There really is grace involved in the sacraments! It feels really good to be back. I just feel like I am being more true to who I really am. Already it is doing wonders for my prayer life. We still look forward to meeting with the folks at Matthew's House but maybe now we will have more to give. It will come from an overflow of what we are receiving. It was also ironic. One reason we left 10 yrs. ago is it didn't seem like there was a place for us. Yesterday while talking to this priest his head was spinning as he was also thinking of all these areas of need & ways we could serve the church. I think he was excited about our background. For now though I am just happy to "be" for a while. I just want to sit & soak. I'm sure eventually I will want to do more though.
July 19, 2007 - Thursday
reflections
I don't think things are always so black and white, especially when trying to figure out God's plan for one's life. I think sometimes he even leads us to do things just so we can see that deep down it is not really what we are desiring to do. An example of this would be a network marketing business I got involved with last year. I've been through a lot of crap with ministry & churches in the past (not our current one :) & was praying that the Lord would just let me live a nice leisurely life. After all I would observe my sister & her husband who were Christians & yet they have a couple of boats & go out on the water just about every week. Kind of got me a little envious. So, this "opportunity of a lifetime" comes up & I jumped on it. After all there were others who were doing very well with it & able to sit back & live a nice life. Well, halfway into it I realize a nice leisurely life isn't really what I was desiring deep down. After searching my heart I realized I have never desired the American dream of a white picket fence & a Pleasantville type neighborhood. Actually I find that all to be quite boring. What is DEEPLY branded on my heart is to be Franciscan (follow Jesus in the way of St. Francis of Assisi). To live simply and humbly,put others above myself, to live in community, etc., etc. This has also got me wondering if I am being true to myself by even being Protestant. There are some very Catholic things that are deeply engraved on my heart that I can't seem to shake. The more I pray the stronger they get. I don't know...I guess we will see where God is leading us next.
June 6, 2007 - Wednesday
Tom's job
Well, things are still up in the air with Tom's job. It looks pretty definite that Florida is getting rid of PIP (no fault). Even if by some miracle they decide to keep it Tom's job is still unstable. They are really overstaffed. Departments that Tom oversees as a manager have also been getting transferred which leaves less & less for him to manage making Tom wonder when they are going to realize they don't need him. Anyway, so far nothing else has come up. It is looking more & more likely that we are going to have to pursue something out of state. It is hard not to be anxious. I have been in quite a funk. I recently repented & have come out of it realizing it was a symptom of my lack of trust and when everything does end up working out I would feel so silly for letting myself get depressed. God has never let us down before & I'm sure he has a plan. I do wish I knew what it was though. I guess this way I can grow more in my faith. Meanwhile there has been a lot of grace to pray & the desire to form a Franciscan monastic community has been growing. I don't know what all this means. If I try to wrap my brain around it all it gets rather confusing. So, I guess I just need to take one day at a time & trust that he will lead us & bring about these desires that I believe he has placed on our hearts. Meanwhile we really could use the prayers of our friends. Thanks.
posted by Lisa | 8:12 PM
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